Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
