Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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