what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
