my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
