I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
