I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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