Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
