Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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