You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
