Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry astra hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(313): View more from Michigan

oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing

Fav 4 2120 968
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...

Fav 33 3377 1079
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.

Fav 10 1343 3682
share tweet
(605): View more from South Dakota

and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.

Fav 10 6168 1260
share tweet
(909): View more from California

The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.

Fav 12 2463 1240
share tweet
(586): View more from Michigan

Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.

Fav 7 2195 826
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(651): View more from Minnesota

You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.

Fav 8 2216 1041
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(302): View more from Delaware

Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.

Fav 1 980 615
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(707): View more from California

Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.

Fav 0 69 64
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT