I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
