I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
