Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
