Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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