So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
