new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i out mim tonsoeep
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