Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
