i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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