If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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