So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
