Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
