that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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