I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
This couple is walking their pig around campus
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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