Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
