is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
