So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
