is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You're like the curious george of whores
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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