Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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