you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
