I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think i peed on brittanys purse
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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