Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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