I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
