Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
