absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
