I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
