I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
