I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
