these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
