Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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