you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
