Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
