my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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