accomplished twins. life is a go
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
