I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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