Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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