Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
