it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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