I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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