Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im holly from the hills drunk
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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