Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
