you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
