Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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