Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
