I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
